My first injection

After practicing on an orange, I did my first Lupron injection tonight! I was really intimidated about doing these injections, so it feels good to have the first one out of the way. It is a "Sub-Q" injection, so just a short needle that goes into the fat just under the skin. I'm starting with 5U on my left thigh. It really wasn't bad, and I was surprised I could do it myself without too much trouble. The needle is quite short and thin, so it doesn't hurt going in at all, just a tiny pinch after the medicine was in.

Lupron is part of the suppression step. It slows egg production, so they can better control it when I'm ready to start the stimulation medicine. I'll give myself Lupron shots everyday for the next 2-3 weeks.

First Ultrasound

Today was my first ultrasound. Anytime I need an ultrasound during this process, I go into the doctor's office between 8-9:30. Today there were about 5 of us. They call us in, show us to our individual rooms, and one by one the u/s tech comes in and checks.

Today was my antral follicle check to start my cycle. She counted 6-7 on my right and 8-10 on my left (14-17 total). This is in the normal range, meaning I should have excellent response to my medicines, and a higher success rate according to this study (68%). Yay! http://www.advancedfertility.com/antralfollicles.htm

After the ultrasound, the office gave me a phone number that I had to call after 3 pm to get my instructions for the next couple days. The doctor reviews my ultrasound results and his nurses leave me messages on a personal voicemail.

I called today, and I'm supposed to start Lupron tonight! My first injectible medicine to continue to supress me until I'm ready to start stims.

meds are here!

Oh wow-- there are a ton of needles in that pack! I can't believe I will be taking almost all this medicine over the next month. We were lucky because insurance covered a lot of it, but not the $2k for 2700mL of ovulation medicine. Here we go...!

feel so much better!

I wasn't sure how my meeting with Dr. T would go. I was thinking that he would just tell me everything would be fine on IVF. It was so good to get a real explanation.

Anyway, I'm just much more convinced that we really do need IVF. It will get us around the endo/fertilization problem, the motility, and now this lining thing. I feel so much better going into this. I was questioning before if this would even work, and if this was really even necessary. I have the answers to those questions now, and I can move on and feel excited.

It looks like the best time for me to go to CA is 5/5, so that should be right between ultrasounds. They do a ton of monitoring ultrasounds to make sure I'm not over or underresponding. I think all of this is going to work out well. I'm just so much more optimistic, and if it doesn't, we can move on. We are ready. This is it.

coming to terms...

I think I'm coming to terms with IVF. I was feeling so awful and resistant about it last week, but I'm calming down now. I'm not feeling desperate right now, but if IVF will give me what I want, I will do it. Do I really want to go through another year childless with no end in sight? No, I want this to be over with.

I am ready. I was ready in October, and I'm ready now. I can do this, especially thinking of things one day at a time. The next couple of days I need to take my BCP's. Focus on one step at a time and deep breathing.

I will meet with Dr. T on Wed. I hope I can get some reassurance.

We did get our official approval for shared risk! So that's great. Shared risk means that we pay one price for a max of 3 fresh cycles and unlimited frozen cycles (meaning if you get more than 2-3 good embryos on a fresh cycle, they freeze the leftovers to be thawed and transferred another time).

Anyway, I'm glad I'm feeling better about it all. I was definitely stressed about it, but I can do this. It is going to be fine, and at the end there will be a baby or at least closure.

scared

I started my first pill last night, so I guess this is real-- we're doing IVF. Originally, I was excited, but scared. Now, I feel mostly scared. All these drugs are so serious, and it is going to be hard to put myself through this. I feel like giving up in some ways. Let's adopt, though that has a different set of problems. If I think about being pg, I'm happy, though. So I think it is worth putting up with this fear and anxiety for a bit. And once I have done one cycle the next one may not seem so bad.

education class

I had our IVF education class today at our doctor's office! Mark had to take off for our home inspection, so it was just me. It was a little intimidating. Yikes-- there are going to be a lot of needles and a lot of drugs!

Mark will have to learn how to give me injections, and some I may even give to myself. I'm not looking forward to that. Why does it have to be so hard? I wish I didn't have to go through all this crap just to have a baby, something that should be so beautiful and natural.

Although, IVF truly is a miracle. Potentially, our future baby will be a little 8 cell blob in a glass petri dish! Really amazing.

Anyway, I start the pill tomorrow night. Sounds counterproductive, doesn't it?! I have to be on it for a few weeks to help override my cycle. This whole process will take about 6 weeks.

We're doing what???!!!

My initial reaction to this is wow-- how did this happen? A lot of infertile couples start out with much less aggressive treatment and work their way up. But my RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) seems to think this is our best shot.

So, the good news is that we can have biological children. The bad news is that from my diagnostic surgery, I have mild endometriosis. The other bad news is that Mark's motility percentage is slightly down. And that combo means IVF!

There is a 50% chance or better that this could work for us, and a 33% chance of twins+! IVF usually doesn't produce more than twins because most ethical doctors do not transfer more than 2-3 embryos, depending on quality. We'd be okay with twins-- 2 for the price of one right?! (especially with no insurance coverage for infertility!)