Thursday, May 29, 2008

Tagged??!! :) My 6 word memoir.

My blog has been tagged by lovely Lisa AND amazing Ariel

I have been tagged to write a six word memoir. This is based on a "meme" or a viral idea (Mark would love this-- he's very into "memes").

The Meme originated over an idea that was prompted by the book written by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser, Not Quite What I was Planning: Six Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure. It's a compilation based on the story that Hemingway once bet ten dollars that he could sum up his life in six words. His words were- For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.

Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
Tag five more blogs with links.
4. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

Let's see if I can be more profound than Hemingway (that memoir sucked by the way)...

Family life is my dream come true. (uhh not 6 words!!)
Flag pins are for patriots. (political and not me)
I need wine to do this. (lol, too bad I can't drink right now)

Infertility sucks then you get pregnant. (I HOPE this will be my memoir!!)

I'll have to find some people to tag! hmmm....

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

2 made it to freeze!

We have 2 snowbabies! They are Day 6 blastocysts that are cryogenically frozen in the lab. I'm really happy to have them, since it gives me hope for another cycle just in case. A frozen cycle is MUCH easier on me than a fresh, since I don't have to worry about the egg retrieval.

I am 3dp5dt (that's 3 days past my 5-day transfer) or 8 days past conception. So far I feel nothing, but that's okay. It is still way too early to know anything. And fortunately I haven't been making myself crazy over analyzing stuff. Although I do keep talking to them-- "Get cozy little guys!"

We close on our house today!! We are so excited! It is definitely been a very nice and happy distraction. We can't wait to move in. We have movers, and I am going to be doing my best to stay relaxed. It is a little easier, since we don't have to pack.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Transfer today! & OUR embie pics

We transfered 2 beautiful blasties today! It was amazing! We even got our first "baby pictures"!!! --->>

We got in and the embryologist explained how our embryos had progressed. They decided to transfer 2 embryos-- on a scale 4-1 (4 being best), we transferred a 3 and a 3+. Of the others remaining, they were going to let them keep growing and let us know about freezing tomorrow.

Before the transfer, she gave us this picture of our embryos, and we even got to look at them under the microscope! We could even barely see them with the naked eye too! It was unbelievable! As Mark said, these cells are a little mixture of him and a little mixture of me.

The procedure was pretty painless. They put the embryos in via ultrasound and catheter. Dr. T assured us they couldn't fall out and the bedrest was mainly to reduce stress. So far I feel quite relaxed having everyone wait on me! (And the vallium helped too)

Now we just wait and see. My official test will be on 6/9-- seems like a long time from now...!!!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

14 Embryos!!

Our fert report is in! We have 14 embies!! I can't believe our potential future babies are growing in a lab a few miles away. Pic is of a 2-day 4-cell embryo (not ours).

The embryologist said that most are between 4-5 cells, which is just where they need to be at this stage (2 days). Our embryo transfer will be on Monday at 10:30 am, which is 5 days after my retrieval. 5-day transfers are a little better than 3-day because they can tell the quality of the embryos even better at that stage. I'm VERY excited and hopeful!!!

I scheduled acupuncture for before and after the transfer. There have been studies done that show pregnancy rates increase when acupuncture is performed before and after the transfer. Plus, I'm sure I'll need something to calm me down by then. :)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

ER= 17 eggs!

Today was the big day-- my ER! I was thrilled to find they got 17 eggs!! (the average is 12) It is a big relief that we actually made it to the ER. I kept worrying that they were going to cancel me or that I had already ovulated or the Ganirelix worked too well and killed all my eggs. But things worked out just right. The pic isn't MY egg, but hopefully mine look that beautiful!

We got in around 8 am and they showed me to the OR at my doctor's office. I changed into a gown, met with the anesthesiologist. I got on this table and put my legs in stirrups while they put an IV in. He gave me this great numbing medicine, so I didn't really feel the IV. He put in the medicine and then I was OUT!

Just after they retrieved my eggs and I was waking up, they had Mark give his sample.
Me: 10 days of 3 shots, doc appts everyday (even Sat/Sun) for bloodwork and ultrasound, IV drip, anesthesia, operating room, groggy/nausea.
Mark: go in a cup!

But honestly, he's been really great at taking care of me. And he's going to help with these larger injections I have coming up. At least they are only 1 per day this time!

I find out about my "fertilization report" on Friday. Just because I got 17 eggs, doesn't mean they will all turn into embryos or quality embryos. Depending on what they think, I'll have my ET either Saturday or Monday.

Monday, May 19, 2008


I am sooooo happy! It is official-- this cycle is NOT CANCELED!! My E2 levels dropped to 2700, which is totally at a safe level for OHSS. And my U/S today showed several growing follicles, so my cycle has been salvaged! Thank you Dr. T! (and Ganirelix!)

Tonight we trigger to start the mature/release of the eggs, and my ER will be on Wednesday morning. This is the best news I could have hoped for!

With all this up and down, I'm not sure what the egg quality will be like? But I have seen several reports of good outcomes on salvaged cycles. And I'd rather have a little hope that all these injections weren't for nothing!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Still a go... so far...

I think things are still on track, and we may not have to cancel! I hope this is the case, but I also read up on OHSS. It sounds like hell, and something I would really want to avoid.

It looks like my follicles have grown, and my E2 level was down a little bit from yesterday (which was over 8400!), but she didn't have the exact number. My biggest follicles were:
1 @ 22 mm
2 @ 21 mm
3 @ 19 mm
4 @ 18 mm
4 @ 17 mm
2 @ 16 mm

So, I've got about 16 large ones (mostly on my left ovary), and several other smalls. The ideal thing to happen is for the big ones to mature and the small ones to drop back so my E2 level will go down. Then the mature ones will be retrived.

I haven't taken any more stims, but he added Ganirelix tonight. This actually prevents me from ovulating on my own and will also lower my E2 levels. I have bloodwork and ultraound tomorrow, so fingers crossed that I'll get to trigger soon!

Friday, May 16, 2008

Follicle Update

I had my u/s this morning, and my b/w. I didn't get my E2 level for today, which worries me a bit.

But my follicles are growing!
Right: 3-big, 5 med, 5 small
Left: 5-big, 15! med, 5-10 small

They're having me back for b/w and u/s tomorrow. I'm now on such a low dose of medicine that I can't even administer it from the Gonal-F pen. I'll have to do it with one of the other needles!

I'm still quite worried that they are going to cancel me. I think he just started me out way too aggressive. I guess I just have to trust that they know what they're doing.

I've been feeling a little nauseous lately. I have been eating lots of protein, which is supposed to help. I'm also going to pick up some Gatoraid for the weekend. I go back tomorrow for b/w and u/s for the 6th day in a row!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

7 down, 3 to go!

After tonight, I'll have done 7 days of stims and only have 3 more to go! I'll be glad when these 3 shots and daily appointments are done with. Although the next shots are long and scary! Mark will have to help.

Today my level is 3128, so still going up. But I'm much more calm about it than I felt yesterday. It is also not as big of a jump as I had yesterday, so I'm just going to wait and see. I'm now on the lowest dose of meds they can give me! I go in for bloodwork and ultrasound tomorrow.

In other news, Mark and I are getting ready for the move. I've made arrangements with movers and set up the utilities, so we should be good to go in just 2 weeks!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

more on E2 levels...

Monday E2= 670 (after 3 days of stims)
Tuesday E2= 911 (after 4 days of stims)
Wednesday E2= 2136 (after 5 days of stims)

Yikes! If it goes above 4000, I'm at risk for hyperstimulating, which can mean bloating, pain, water-retention, and at worst hospitalization. It usually doesn't show up until after the egg retrieval (ER), and it gets worse if I were to get pregnant, which means the embryo transfer (ET) could get canceled until my body calms down. They keep reducing my dosage of meds, so hopefully that will be enough to keep it away. And 4000 doesn't mean I'll definitely get it, but just at higher risk.

I also had an u/s today, and she said "WOW-- you have A LOT of folicles" She showed me the screen and there were a bunch of little circles. I think my left ovary is working overtime! One thing about OHSS, is that it is a ratio of E2 to follicles, so if I have high E2 levels, but also a LOT of follicles, it isn't as bad.

So far I feel okay, though. My ovaries feel a little heavy or just some tightness around there, and I'm super-tired in the evenings.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Day 3 of Stims E2 level

I went in for bloodwork today, and my E2 (estrogen) level is 670! That sounds really high to me. They are backing off on my medicine some (200 IU instead of 300 IU), but I'm a little concerned. In some ways, it is great that I am responding so well, but in other ways-- I could end up hyper-stimulated and have to cancel the cycle.

They want me back tomorrow, so I feel like I'm being watched closely. I'm sure they know what they are doing.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

This is actually one of the hardest days for me while struggling with infertility. I just want to be a mom so badly.

As one nestie put it, it is like being single on Valentine's day. You see all these other people getting cards and flowers and you just wonder when will it be your turn? And of course it isn't about the cards and flowers, it is about celebrating the happiness that comes from being a parent. Something that I'm not sure I'll have anytime soon.

I'm not sure if it is the meds or just the day, but this weekend I was really feeling desperate for this to work. It's been 2 weeks and I'm already sick of the injections-- I have small bruises all over my thighs. And I just don't want to be in this sad, hard place anymore.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Practice Parenting!

Mark and I are babysitting my niece (8) and nephew (5) for the weekend. So far it is going really well. We're trying our best to follow their rules, keep them happy/safe, and not let the get away with stuff they shouldn't! So far, so good.

They were actually quite well behaved for us, considering they're probably missing mom and dad a lot. Mark took my nephew to soccer, while my niece and I made recipes! There was only one or two outbursts and a little whining, which I think both of us handled quite well.

It was a little tiring waking up much earlier, and I think my stims make me more tired than usual. But we did a pretty good job tag-teaming them and sneaking in naps where we could!

I can't wait for my own!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Starting Stims!!

Today I had another u/s and bloodwork. I have 12-16 antral follicles (on the lower side of good). And my lining is at 3.6, which is thin, but that's to be expected since I'm just starting the cycle. Anyway, they said everything looks great and I can start my stimulation medicine!

So now I'm up to 3 shots a day (all sub-q small needles!)-- Gonal-f pen, ovidrel, and Lupron. The pen is pre-loaded with medicine, so I just have to replace the needle each time. It was pretty easy to give it to myself, but it has to go in my stomach. I'm still doing some Lupron, even though that is the suppression medicine, but taking half the dosage.

Anyway, so far so good. I also had acupuncture today. He asked me about where I was in my cycle and what had been going on, and then he puts small needles at various points in my body. Then I just lay and relax with my feet under a warmer. I almost fell asleep.

There are a lot of studies linking the positive benefits of acupuncture to IVF, in particular. So while I'm spending a lot of time and money on this, I thought I should have the best chance I possibly can. And acupuncture is part of that. My acupuncturist, David, will even come to do my treatment before and after my ET (embryo transfer).

I haven't had any side effects on the Lupron that I noticed. Some women complain of headaches, and I got one yesterday, but I think it was more lack of caffiene, since I'm cutting myself off that and alcohol for the rest of the cycle.

My acu recommended doing the stims a little earlier in the evening, so I could do them just before my appointment with him. He said he has had a lot of success with stimming and estrogen levels this way-- which is just what I need!

I'm a little worried about what all these ovulation meds might do to me. I was a wreck the few times I took clomid-- just angry and emotional. Mark is warned!

Next appt is for bloodwork on Monday, so they can see how I'm responding to all this!