Maternity Leave

I talked to HR yesterday about maternity benefits. I get 12 weeks off total (for Family Medical Leave Act = FMLA) and 6 weeks of that is paid at 66%. The 66% isn't taxed or 401K or anything, so it usually works out to about the same as a full pay check. Mark probably only gets vacation since his company is too small for FMLA. This is sort of what I had expected-- thank goodness I signed up for long-term disability when I was rehired!!

If we had stayed in CA, I would have got 18 weeks off total, with 12 weeks at 66%. And Mark would have had 2 weeks full pay and probably 4 weeks unpaid for FMLA. But we probably would have paid about $10k more for IVF, so I guess it works out...

The last we talked Mark thought I should go back to work at 6 weeks. I really don't like the idea of putting a 6 week old baby in daycare, and I'm not sure how I'll feel after that. I would really like to take the full 12 and then work part-time for another 6-12.

I talked to my Brother-in-law and his wife who just had their second. They said they would be concerned about the colds/flu/sickness that goes around daycares with a baby that small. So we'll talk to them more this weekend when Mark is here too. I think Mark would like to stay home, so maybe that's an option too?

Now that I'm in my second tri, I'm still surprised at how un-pregnant I feel. I'm not showing much, don't feel the baby, haven't done much of anything to prepare for the baby. Feb seems like a long way off, but I'm sure once the holidays are upon us, it will come very quickly!!

Told work

I'm in CA this week for work (and also visiting my nephews). This is the first time I've seen my manager in person since I found out I'm pregnant. I was a little nervous to tell him, but he was very nice about it. He gave me a big congratulations and thought the timing for my leave would be fine with the current project. We didn't get into too much about how long I would take or anything like that-- still need to talk to HR about that.

Anyway, after that I was free to tell everyone else, so I've been spilling the beans around the office. It has been really fun! Everyone is so happy for me and I think they can tell I'm BEAMING! :) And it is feeling even more real.

Also, I feel like I'm just starting to show now, especially with certain tops. I've also been wearing my super-comfy maternity jeans, although I still use the bella band to help keep them in place.

Fun Birthday Facts (2/11/09)

I found this website: www.babiesonline/funfacts
* Your baby's birthstone will be Amethyst (Sincerity)
* Your baby's Astrological Sign will be Aquarius
* Your baby's Flower is Violet or Primrose (Violet, Sky Blue or Yellow)
* Your baby will be born in the Chinese Year of The Ox
* This time next year your baby will be 28 Weeks Old!
* Your baby will start kindergarten in 2014, be old enough to drive a car in 2025, finish high school in 2027, and will graduate from college with the class of 2031, give or take a year.

2027??!! I guess we have enough time to save for college... I'm sure it will go by fast!

Dads

I don't have a relationship with my father. For awhile we would get together at the holidays, but the past few times it just felt forced and fake. His wife is nice and tries a lot, but I just don't feel like my dad ever made much of an effort to be part of my life. There are a variety of reasons, not all his fault, but I just don't feel a bond with him at all.

I was really dragging on telling him about the baby, but I finally sent an email. And we'll probably introduce him to the baby in the spring. I think I'm more comfortable with this new relationship though. I don't feel any pressure to visit or see him, and anything we want to share is appreciated.

I'm just so happy that my baby is going to have such a wonderful father. Mark has been all about children and babies since I've met him, and I know this baby will be so loved by him. He has his faults, as we all do, but there is no bounds to his deep love and the joy I know he feels at becoming a dad.

I'm so happy to be able to give this to him. I know we would have been happy with other ways of growing our family, but I think about how this baby will be like me and like him. I'm a lot like my mom because she was my main influence, but I can't even imagine what it will be like with Mark and I raising our child together?!

Other news: Got the official 1st tri screening results-- Everything was 100% normal and 1/11,000 for Downs and 1/22,000 for Trisomy-18. Yay-- very low risk and baby is healthy!

Hi Baby Girl?!

We had our NT scan today to check for genetic abnormalities. The ultrasound was really, really clear, much more clear than any of the others we have had. It was also my first external ultrasound, so the baby is finally big enough to be seen from the outside!

The measurements were all perfect and well-within range of normal. Yay! We are thrilled about that.

The tech was measuring the baby's legs and we got a crotch shot and Mark asked-- is it a boy? She said, "Well, if you don't get your heart set and promise not to buy anything, I think its a girl." We were in shock!! We really thought it was going to be a boy, but we are so excited. It isn't 100%, but this scan is pretty late to where I think she has a decent guess! We'll find out for sure sometime in the next month or so.

Anyway, both of us just can't stop smiling!! :)

Oh, and I'm in my 2nd trimester now. Another great milestone!

baby belly where are you?

I have definitely outgrown my regular pants and skirts, but I still don't really look pregnant. Well, to anyone who doesn't know I'm pregnant.

I have bought like 1 pair of maternity jeans since they were recommended and on sale, but I haven't worn them yet. And in some ways I am saving most maternity purchases for fall so I don't need 2 seasons of clothes. My bella band has been getting me by for now.

But I went shopping to look for a skirt to wear now and later and the salesperson was like "Oh, you know this is the maternity section." Yes, I know-- this little pudge on my belly is baby... eventually. Didn't matter-- it was too big anyway!

Then I went to Motherhood Maternity store. I tried on a skirt (way too big!) and then had fun with their little belted pillow which is supposed to add 3 months. I can't believe I'm going to look like that in 3 months, but I'm sure I will!

For now, I'm just on belly watch. People tell me ~17-20 weeks with the first baby, so another month at least!

2nd OB appt-- GRRR!!!

I went in yesterday for my second OB. They told me I would have an ultrasound. I had my mom come with me this time, and even took the day off of work. Well, I'm now over 13 weeks (YAY! Baby is the size of a peach!), and I know I am coming to the end of the window for my NT scan ultrasound. The NT scan is one way they check the baby for genetic defects-- and there is only a narrow window when it can be done.

Anyway I called on Wednesday to make sure the u/s was going to include the NT. The nurse tells me no-- it is just my regular OB u/s to date the pregnancy. (Mind you-- I've already had 2 of these at my fertility clinic). Anyway, she says it is fine to do testing up to 16 w. Okay. whatever. Some people don't even get this test.

So I get in yesterday and they ask-- Aren't you going to do first tri screening??? I told them what happened yesterday, and she said OH-- if you had come this morning we could have done it, but now the tech is no longer here. Fortunately, they called around and found a place to squeeze me in on Monday. So no ultrasound at all yesterday, since I'm getting one on Monday.

I'm not mad, just a little irritated that I KNEW this would happen and wasn't listened to and that my mom spent her precious energy coming with me and didn't get to see the baby. I guess I'll just have to push more in the future. And I think I'm done with all the initial starting stuff now, so I'm just doing my 1 per month appointments. My next is 9/4-- 1 day after I turn 31!