Progress! @ 38w 2d

I went in for my regular OB appt yesterday (after already going 2x earlier that week for the Bell's Palsy). They were really late and making me late for acupuncture and I was getting upset.

As soon as she walked in, she asked if I'd been having contractions. Sure-- all the time, and I've had pretty bad cramps the past several mornings. So she decided to give me an internal. I am 3 cm dilated and 60% effaced!! OMG-- I thought I had some dilation, but I wasn't expecting to be so far along! After that, I didn't really think too much about the BP-- I'm just excited to meet my daughter!

After the exam, they hooked me up to the monitor. I was having little contractions at about 6 min apart. They thought I would go into labor sometime this weekend! So, I think these tired, emotional feelings are mostly because of the labor. I was never hormonal or emotional during my pregnancy-- if anything, it really evened me out, and I just felt calm (a big change from the roller coaster infertility cycles!).

So, now we wait... We walked last night and I felt a lot of Braxton Hicks, but only 1 or 2 *real* contractions. Maybe tonight?

I also went to acupuncture yesterday for the BP. He used several points on me, but didn't want to go too strong since I'm so close to delivery. I have another appointment on Sunday, so we'll see if I make it!

Getting worse every day

The Bell's Palsy just keeps getting worse every day. I wonder if I'll wake up tomorrow with complete paralysis. I might have opted for the steroids if I'd known it was going to keep progressing. And now I think it is too late-- I should have had them very early on. I can barely move the left side of my face at this point. I have been taping my eye closed to go to bed at night, and I can't talk properly, and water spills out of my mouth.

In better news, my acupuncturist is going to get me in right away! So nice of him-- I had thought about it, but I really couldn't justify the cost. And it seems like everything that I've read just says it goes away on its own.

I feel like I should just be happy I'm having a healthy baby, but I can't even move my face to cry right now. It is starting to take a psychological toll because I don't think I'll be able to smile at my baby, which makes me really sad.

Bad Day :(

So I woke up yesterday and felt these little twitches on the left side of my face. Kinda weird, but I really didn't think much of it. I just figured the baby was pushing on a nerve or something funny. This morning I woke up and the left side of my tongue was a little numb. I googled around and figured out I have Bell's Palsy. I went to the OB today, and they confirmed it.

Fortunately, everything with the baby is just fine and this shouldn't affect her at all. I have a really mild case, since some people have paralysis on half their face. Mine is mostly twitching and my left eye is really dry. The doctor said it would likely clear up on its own. I just started getting scared because I don't know if this is the peak or I could wake up tomorrow with no expression on the left half of my face!

I keep telling myself this is all temporary and if this is the worst thing that happens to me during pregnancy, I'm doing pretty darn good. But I am also getting much more emotional and sensitive as the days get closer. I'm so glad I'm not working right now, but that leads me to my other bad news.

I have worked at my company for 6 years, meaning I should get 6 weeks of severance. However, I left my job in CA and became a casual employee for about 3 months until they asked me to come back full time. I never planned to come back, but I was specifically told not to quit until I got another job, so I could maintain my "years of service" if I ever did come back.

Well, you probably see where this is going-- they keep telling me I'm a "rehire" and I only get 4 weeks. I have denied my severance until I get some answers on this. But I just feel too emotional to call right now. And I feel this ticking clock that my baby could come any day now and I would really like to get this all resolved before then.

I'm just feeling overwhelmed by all of this, and certainly don't feel like the fighter I need to be. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow, and I can deal with it then.

My DIY Projects: boppy & nursing cover

I finished more DIY stuff, and this may be it... I made a boppy cover and a "hooter hider" with some leftover fabric.

For the boppy, I just cut up the old cover to make a pattern. I had bought it on consignment, so I didn't really like it anyway. It was really simple, and I actually had a lot of fun making it! The fabric is brown/pink damask on one side and this cute Eiffel Tower fabric on the other.

For the hooter hider, I used the patterns found here:
http://www.breastfeeding123.com/free-pattern-to-sew-your-own-nursing-cover/ Although I used ribbon for the straps, instead of making my own.

Take my Poll!

I've been feeling some signs that she's getting ready, so just thought I'd add a fun poll to see when my faithful readers thought she might be born!

I'm 37 weeks now, so full term, meaning she could be born anytime and not be considered premature. I've been having a lot of practice contractions lately, and also some just menstrual kind of cramping. And I feel like she is dropping lower too. I get these sharp little pains when I walk around sometimes. I have a doctor appt tomorrow, but I'm not sure if they do internal exams, so I may or may not get a progress update. Either way, I'll be having a baby anytime now!

So crazy to think about?! I'm actually glad that I'm not working right now, or I might be feeling kind of stressed to think about her coming so soon. I have really liked this week at home to just relax and feel more prepared. Getting there....

Nursery Pics!

Here is a slideshow of our Parisian Poodle nursery-- nearly complete, except for Baby! I did the wall letters as "Bebe" which is baby in French. I made the wall letters, crib skirt, valences, and beading on the lamp. I'm so happy with the result! Mark's mom is also making her a crib quilt with coordinating fabrics. The balloons are from my shower (over a month ago), so they won't be staying too long.

Last day of work...

I was laid off yesterday! I'm not quite sure how I feel. This is something I've sort of been wanting for awhile-- I hate my job and knew I would need to find something else on maternity leave. So now I get to leave and get some $$. But part of me is really irritated that they did this the week before I was going on maternity leave. I mean-- who lays off a 9 month pregnant woman?! I guess the timing isn't as bad as it might be like if I was 6 months or something.

I'm also annoyed because I have a ton of questions about collecting unemployment while pregnant and post partum and disability that they really couldn't answer. Come on-- if you are going to lay off the pregnant woman, you should at least know the benefits! They told me yesterday if I had already been out, I could keep collecting. And I told them I filed my claim yesterday, so does that mean my claim will go through? I've also been working there just 2 weeks shy of 1 year, which I have no idea what that means for unemployment?! I have to go back today and turn in my laptop, so hopefully they will be able to tell me.

My manager was upset that he had to do this. He said it basically makes no sense because if they are trying to cut costs-- why would they fire someone who is getting ready to go on a big leave? It also continues to surprise me that they don't let the managers make the decisions about who should go. This was the case with the layoff in June.

Anyway, overall, I probably did make out really well working there. It was very flexible, which was great for doing IVF. It was very low stress, and there were plenty of days where I took it really easy.

And financially, we'll be fine. I am on Mark's healthplan, and the baby will be too. She hasn't started daycare, so we can defer that until I'm working again (much better than having to pull her out and put her on the waiting list again!). We don't make quite enough to sustain me staying at home indefinitely, but our deficit isn't that bad.

I think I'd just feel a lot better if I had my questions answered.

went to LLL meeting today

I went to a Le Leche League meeting today. I heard it was a good idea to go before you have the baby, just to make some contacts. I'm glad I went, and I even checked a few books out from their "library"

There were about 10 moms and lots of kids of varying ages. We first introduced ourselves and then the leader read the LLL mission. We went around and talked about anything cute/milestones our babies had done (mine was hiccuping!). Then we talked about "Myths of Breastfeeding" which was today's topic. It was good, but I kind of felt like there was a little bit of bashing going on-- like is BFing really that adversarial? They talked about crap they'd gotten from other moms, family, work peers, pediatricians(?!), etc. Maybe it was just the topic? But overall it was nice to meet some other moms and get their take on things.

I feel like I've got a ton of info/support on breastfeeding now, so I just hope my baby takes to it!

Maternity Pics! @ 36w

We took some maternity pictures this weekend! I just had my mom and Mark do them, since I doubt they'll be something I frame/hang. They came out really cute! Looking at some of them-- I can't believe this is my body?! I was wearing some of my pre-pg jeans. Getting them on was...interesting, even unzipped! I think my hips (read ASS) has really spread. I don't know if these will ever fit again?! Oh well, I'm sure it will all be worth it.

OMG-- I just looked at my ticker, only 30 days left! Wow-- I never thought I'd get here. I can't believe I'm going to be a mom in just 1 more month.

All are here:

slide show

Here are some of my favorites:

Happy New Year!

2008 was a really good year for me. We moved back to NC from CA and managed to land on our feet! We both got jobs and bought a house and did IVF. I've had a really easy/happy pregnancy. And Obama got elected (had to throw that in for Mark).

So 2009 is looking to be an amazing year. We get to meet our little girl! I can't believe I'm going to be a mom in just over a month!

I started 2009 with the stomach flu, which was a little scary. I was worried Lulu wasn't doing well, and I was getting dehydrated, but I also just felt awful. I would have tons of Braxton Hicks after my bathroom trips :( Fortunately, it only lasted about a day, and Lulu seems to be fine-- moving around like normal!

I planned to do more in the nursery before I got sick, but I did manage to get through all her washing and organizing. I just loved folding all her little outfits. I can't believe we're going to be dressing her up in these tiny little sleepers! The nursery is in good shape and baby-ready, but I'd still like to get to the window valences and wall letters...