I went to the doctor yesterday and the good news is the baby is still doing fantastic-- perfect heartrate on the NST and perfect fluid level. So no urgency in getting her out.
But the bad news is, I am still pregnant and now I have an induction date for Tuesday. I was seriously in labor for a few hours last night-- like major contractions that increased when I was walking. But I got home had it for another hour and then it all disappeared! Beyond frustrating!
I started looking into things a little more, and I think the reason I'm going so late is because she is posterior. Her head just isn't in the right position to trigger labor. I had not been worrying about this because I thought she'd just turn when I was in labor, but now I'm wishing I would have done more. I've been trying now, but I think she's too big and too low until I start getting contractions again.
I think maybe I should just resign myself to the idea of having a c-section. And it isn't guaranteed I will need a C, but I think I need to prepare for that since it is about 50% chance. I don't have a lot of confidence that the induction will work-- I think I'll be in labor and then she won't be able to turn and then go into distress.
I keep telling myself, I should be thankful I'm having a baby at all. So what if the birth isn't the perfect birth I had so wanted?-- that may not have happened anyway.
And what is bad about a c-section if the baby arrives safe and alive? I'm just scared bonding and breastfeeding won't go well or that my uterus will collapse (already had 1 surgery and it is abnormally shaped). I wouldn't choose it, but my little girl is the most important thing.
Sweet poems galore
1 year ago
4 comments:
Sorry honey, I know you are so frustrated. All normal concerns, too. I put together a birth plan for my cesarean because there are so rules that can prevent you from holding the baby and trying to breastfeed within an hour if you don't push. I would be glad to share it with you and then you can just have it in your chart for a back up if the C is necessary. I sincerely hope you will get the birth you wanted though. Thinking about you - call if you want to talk.
oh, Sasha... I'm so sorry you are at this point. I think there is still time/room for her to turn and that's what I'll be praying for. Whatever happens, I hope the baby gets here safely (and you stay healthy too!!)
Sasha, I am so sorry about the induction. I really hope you don't need it but if you do just remember you can still have her vaginally, it doesn't mean you will need a c-section. And if the c-section is what is best then that will be okay too. My biggest fears about the c-section were the ones you mentioned and breastfeeding has been challenging but our issues are a fast let down, which has nothing to do with my c-section. Also Riley and I are bonded like you wouldn't believe. If you want to talk about things I did with the c-section to make BFing and bonding better let me know. You have my email and know how to reach me.
I hope it happens before Tuesday! Good luck!!
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